Just feel it [period]

We lost our dog Q (short for "Questionable Lady") a few weeks ago. Our poor girl suffered a stroke—which I hear is rare for dogs. She seemed to recover for a few weeks afterward, but then she developed a complication that left her unable to eat. As all pet owners understand, even though we wanted very much to prevent her from suffering, it was very hard to say good-bye.

In the days that followed, there were moments of pain when we were reminded of Q: seeing her folded up cage, reaching for two leashes instead of one, and so on. Also, there were doubts. Occasionally, I wondered if I'd gotten her care soon enough after her stroke. Was there anything else I could have done? Did we make the right decision to let her go when we did?

One time while I was taking a nap, I remembered how Q liked to curl up in a ball behind my knees as I was sleeping on my side. In an attempt to comfort myself, I imagined her snuggled in there right at that moment. It was an attempt to feel as if she was still with us, in part. I did feel some relief, and I smiled.

The next time I took a nap, I tried to imagine Q's presence again, and...well...it didn't work. It didn't comfort me. My mind became unsettled, and it bounced from attempting to invoke pleasant memories of her to second guessing our recent decisions. 

Two things occurred to me then. The first is that this was a reminder of how I over relied on fantasy to comfort myself when I was a child growing up with my alcoholic father in a very chaotic, unpredictable home. It was my main method for feeling in control and having some power.

When I played basketball in the back yard, I was playing against Larry Bird in the NCAA finals. When I hit the tennis ball against the brick wall of the elementary school for hours at a time, I was hitting a passing shot against Bjorn Borg or John McEnroe to win Wimbledon. I drew my own comics. I pretended I was a rock star as I sang along with my favorite songs. 

It took me well into adulthood to use less fantasy and to use better, more mature ways to feel competent and secure. 

The second thing that occurred to me was that I was mentally scrambling, trying to find a way not to feel hurt about Q's passing. So, instead of staying stuck up in my head, I took a few deep breaths, and I made a gentle request of myself: Quiet down and simply FEEL. Just "miss her," OK? Nothing more, nothing less.

Just miss her.

Once I calmed myself and just sat with my feeling, it was more manageable. She's gone. I can't undo or redo the past. I feel sad. But it's OK. I'll manage just fine.

Since then, a wave of sadness will wash over me from time to time, but it doesn't last long. We did our very best to be humane and to prevent Q's suffering; now I was doing my best to avoid any unnecessary suffering of my own.

I'm very thankful for the time she spent with us. RIP, Q!

Muscle building for older guys

Let me lead with a disclaimer: I'm not a personal trainer. Use this post as "food for thought," and run all ideas past a fitness professional and your doctor before making decisions about any rigorous exercise routine.

I share this information because it works for me and because clients have asked me to share it.

First, I've found that the most important thing is to start off with easy, light lifting and work up gradually. That way, over time, I came to understand what my 54 year-old body can tolerate. For example, I found out that I tolerate 2 weight lifting sessions a week; more than that, and I feel too tired, achy, and foggy headed. I also found that, if I go more than one week without lifting, I needed to work back into my routine slowly, starting with the lowest weights. (Several times when coming back from a longer layoff often due to a vacation, I pulled a muscle or tweaked my rotator cuff.) Finally, I need at least 2 days of rest in between weight-lifting days to recover, but 3 days work better.

Second, I recently aggravated some elbow tendinitis when I decided to use some twisting motions on a few dumb bell lifts (military and and chest). I saw some younger men doing these motions, presumably to work more muscles, particularly in the forearm. However, a few weeks after I started using these motions, I developed an achy elbow. So, for older weight lifters, I recommend not going below a 90 degree angle with your elbows when doing presses and keeping your wrist angled in the same direction, if possible, during the entire lift. In summary, the less twisting at the wrist and elbow, the better. 

Third, I found that my body can't tolerate most high-intensity techniques. (For example, when I pyramid, I pyramid down, not up. Also, I lift heavy weights slowly.) Following from that principle, I use a planned weight lifting technique called Periodization. This technique was developed in the Eastern Bloc countries in the late 80s for their Olympic weight lifters. The basic idea is to move from lower weights and higher repetitions to higher weights and lower repetitions.

So, start by dividing your workouts by body part. I have three weight-lifting workouts:

1. Biceps, triceps, and forearms
2. Shoulders, neck (traps), and back
3. Legs, calves, and chest 

On one day of lifting, do one category (for example, biceps, triceps, and forearms). On your next lifting day, do the next category (shoulders, neck, and back). I do three sets but periodize only the first set, and I use mostly free weights. Pick a few exercises that leave you plenty of room to increase the weight over time (I plan two exercises for each body part, and I fill the rest of my routine with a few alternative exercises). So, I periodize a total of 6 exercises. Write down your lifting regime in a notebook, and bring your notebook to the gym with you.

Let's take a look at a possible schedule for a triceps pull-down (rope) exercise:

• 15 repetitions at 40 lbs
• 12 repetitions at 45 lbs
• 10 repetitions at 50 lbs
• 8 repetitions at 55 lbs
• 6 repetitions at 60 lbs

Before scheduling your weights, make sure that you're fairly certain that these weights and repetitions are easily do-able. You can always move up quickly if they are way too easy. When you are finished, write down how many repetitions you managed to do. When you reach the weight for 6 repetitions, see if you can go past that and do more.

So, do one body-part category on every weight-lifting day, and increase the degree of difficult when you cycle back to a given body part. For example:

1. During your arms routines, do 15 triceps rope-pull-down repetitions at 40 lbs for your first set. (Do what you can for the second and third sets.)
2. Lift for your shoulders, neck, and back.
3. Lift for your legs, calves, and chest.
4. During your next arms routine, do 12 repetitions at 45 lbs.

This way, each body part gets plenty of time to recover, and you're increasing your weights gradually. Also, in a given week, you'll be lifting "heavy" on one body part and "lighter" on another, which overall taxes your body less.

If you find that you successfully lifted the heaviest weight only 6 times, then schedule your next period and increase all the weights by 5 lbs, as follows: 

• 15 repetitions at 45 lbs
• 12 repetitions at 50 lbs
• 10 repetitions at 55 lbs
• 8 repetitions at 60 lbs
• 6 repetitions at 65 lbs

If you were able to do more than 6 repetitions on the heaviest weight, increase by more weight accordingly. For example, if you lifted the heaviest weight 10 times, then, on your next schedule might look like this instead:

• 15 repetitions at 50
• 12 repetitions at 55
• 10 repetitions at 60 (because you were able to do this last time)
• 8 repetitions at 65
• 6 repetitions at 70 

Finally, nutrition matters. Probably the most important thing to do is to make sure that you're taking in enough protein. Once you've gotten your planned lifting in place, it's time to apply the formula: take in 75% of your lean (non fat) weight daily in grams of protein. 

So, I currently weigh approximately 215 lbs. I figure that my lean weight is probably close to 185 to 190 lbs. My protein intake should be approximately 140 grams of protein a day. A chicken breast is between 20 and 25 grams of protein. That's a lot of daily protein!

Here are specific nutrition tips:

• I use a reduced cholesterol, whey-based protein that I get at a fitness nutrition store. (it was recommended that I not use soy-based protein, given its tendency to increase estrogen.) I usually drink two full-serving shakes a day, which give me 120 to 140 grams of protein. The rest I get in my regular meals.
• Before every workout, unless I've eaten a meal recently, I eat something with some carbohydrates. I like eating a Kashi bar, which includes whole grains, some protein, and no high fructose corn syrup.
• During every workout, I drink an energy drink that contains some Creatine.
• I take daily Creatine supplements in capsule form (available from a fitness nutrition store).
• I take an arginine based supplement to boost energy on the day I lift weights (available from a fitness nutrition store).
• I take a daily supplement called Androbolix to boost my ability to build muscle (available from a fitness nutrition store).

Again, this is what works for me. Consult with your doctor and personal trainer to get expert consultation on what would be best for your nutritional needs and workout regime.

Also, as I mentioned in my recent update about my Belly Reduction Program, I take a break from all weight lifting and supplements during the first week of the month, and I use that as an aerobics-only week to reduce fat.

That's it! I hope you found some or all of this helpful. 

 

Update on my Belly Reduction Program

Last year, I wrote several reports about my own personal-growth project: to hit the gym, watch my nutrition, build some muscle, and lose some weight off my belly. (I also do meditative exercises along with my elliptical workouts.) I thought I would use this post to give you a project update. 

First, it's been more than a year-and-a-half since I began my project. I'm very close to being down two pants sizes, people have noticed that I look trimmer and more toned, and I've felt an increase in energy. Even though I used to have back problems that resulted in spasms occasionally, I haven't had spasms in six months or so. I've made good progress!

Second, let me share a couple of adjustments I made during the past year that made a big difference in my rate of success:

• I've lost weight off my belly very gradually for the past 20 months, and it's required patience. Yes, I could have lost a lot more weight much quicker if I'd gone on a crash diet. However, I would have lost muscle, and weight lost to a crash diet often comes right back (and then some). I've been trying to focus instead on the concept of "lifestyle change."

• Feeling as if I wasn't making progress fast enough, I hired a personal trainer for two 1-hour sessions, so he could consult with me and provide core-building exercises. I highly recommend getting professional advice like this. (I didn't realize that crunches are highly discouraged these days in favor of planking. Good to know!)

• I had been struggling with a recurring rotator-cuff problem, and my personal trainer helped me resolve it quickly. (For lat pull downs, pull the bar down in front of your face and not behind your head. Be careful not to go beyond 90 degrees when doing bench or shoulder presses.)

• I found a really convenient, effective snack that kills hunger for up to an hour or two: a small handful of peanuts and one appetite suppressing candy (I like "Fit Chews" from Arbonne, though they are somewhat expensive).

• I've added a high-intensity bit at the end of every elliptical workout. I set the resistance to a "medium" setting (for beginners, start with a low setting and work your way up). I then do a four-minute exercise that involves alternating between going as fast as I can for 20 seconds and then going slowly for 10 seconds. So, I cycle through these routines eight times in the four-minute exercise. I've found that adding some high-intensity aerobics increased the rate of my progress.

• I've added treadmill jogging and cycling one day a week, just to mix things up a little bit and to keep my body guessing. I was sure to include hamstring and calve stretches before jogging, and I increased speed and distance very gradually. On the one hand, treadmill running burns calories quickly; on the other hand, jogging can be rough on the knees of older folks. It's perfectly acceptable to avoid all jogging and to stick to the low-impact machines.

• Because gaining muscle and losing fat at the same time can be very tricky, I needed a tactic other than "burn a lot of calories and don't eat junky foods" to get significant progress. (There are actually blog postings on the Internet asking whether it's even possible to do both at the same time, with some experts suggesting "not worth trying.") The key is patience, and the next bullet presents a modification to my routine that made a world of difference in my rate of success.

• During the first week of every month, I go on a mini-diet. I stop weight lifting, I come off all supplements (including protein shakes), and I do 3 to 4 sessions of high-calorie-burning aerobics during that week. For nutrition, I eliminate or significantly reduce all starchy carbs (bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes) at meals, I eliminate all snacks (except for the peanuts/candy snack mentioned in a previous bullet), and I am stricter about eliminating fried and fatty foods. (Being happy with the results, I tried to do this diet for two weeks in a row, but I didn't fare as well. One week works beautifully. Two weeks created the typical deprivation cravings that you get from crash diets. I don't recommend doing it for more than a week.)

So, as mentioned, I like to emphasize to my clients that all of us—me included—put effort into personal-growth projects. I coach people to do it, and I do it for myself.

Also, my Belly Reduction Program is a great example of calling upon patience, using trial and error, being willing to receive coaching from people with more expertise, and understanding that major projects unfold step by step over time. 

I'll give you another report if I discover something interesting or when I get down to that second lower waist size (aiming to go from 36" to 34"). 

Don’t stretch! Instead, relax until your muscles loosen.

I'm a retired team-sports jock. In high school, I was a member at various times of the varsity basketball, tennis, soccer, and track teams. Later in life, I learned to play shortstop for a recreational softball team, and I played corporate-league basketball.

Needless to say, I’m no stranger to locker rooms, gymnasiums, practice sessions, games, and tournaments. I’m also well versed in ways to stretch my muscles before and after working out so as to prevent injury.

Early in my athletic experiences, stretching was always uncomfortable. It felt as if my muscles were tight, and I was using various poses to take the tight muscle and pull on it slowly until it submitted and loosened.

I remember when my whole approach to stretching changed in the mid-90s, which was approximately the same time I began to practice different types of meditation. I was in the middle of my stretching routine, and I just didn’t feel like yanking on my own body anymore. Instead, I just remained in the stretching position, relaxed, breathed deeply, and stopped trying to make things happen. To my surprise, the more my breathing, mind, and total body relaxed, the more my muscle loosened and stretched out. Whoosh! My body part just “melted” into position, smoothly and easily.

The difference between stretching and relaxing was like the difference between cutting into a cold stick of butter immediately after it’s been taken out of the refrigerator and moving the knife through the stick after it’s been on the table for a few hours.

In recent years, whether it’s an athletic pursuit or some other activity, I think to myself, “Relax into it,” and things tend to go smoother and easier. 

Don’t push or pull. Relax and flow.

Weight loss project: Meditate while you work out

While doing my aerobic workout I noticed many people distracting themselves. Some would read books, others watch TV, and people sometimes wear headphones. One time a woman was chatting intensely on her cell phone while working out, and another right next  to me was reading a long series of PowerPoint slides about motivating employees (OK, I peeked).

Distracting (taking your mind off of something unpleasant) and self soothing (inserting a pleasurable activity like eating, lighting candles, listening to music, or rubbing lotion on your hands) are effective ways to take care of yourself emotionally. However their power is very limited and their effects wear off quickly; you don't get a lot of bang for the buck with distraction and self soothing. They should be used in conjunction with more powerful methods of relaxing, accepting, and "holding in your mind comfortably" the present moment.

This thought also occurred to me: if people are treating working out as something so unpleasant that they have to remove their minds from the experience, how likely are they to commit to a long-lasting workout regime? In other words if it's so unpleasant, wouldn't one be motivated to drop the activity as soon as the goal (weight loss) is achieved, setting the person up for gaining back all that weight? What might it be like to engage with the activity, make peace with it, flow with it, pay attention to it, and hopefully find a way to enjoy it for its own sake, regardless of the ultimate goal? In a gym workout, what is the equivalent of "it's the journey, not the destination"?

It was then that, as part of my lose-the-gut effort, I began experimenting with doing my aerobics mindfully—without distracting or self soothing. That way I could kill two birds with one stone; I could exercise and do an extensive mindfulness meditation!

I decided to apply mindfulness to aerobics, because that's the part of the gym workout less naturally lending itself to being present with the activity. When lifting weights I find that I naturally pay close attention to my breathing and how my body feels as I lift, which is necessary to avoid injury.

So for the past few months, I've been focusing on a number of meditative thoughts as I worked out on the elliptical machine. As I mentioned in a previous post I do intervals on the elliptical. Therefore I decided to do a meditation during the challenging interval (the more unpleasant one) and let my mind wander during the easier one.

A dozen times or so during my one-hour aerobic workout, I would recite in my mind the following statements during a difficult interval:

• I am

Focus on your body and its movement and nothing else.

• THEY are

Become aware of everyone else working out around you.

• WE are

Get in touch with how you all are there for a common reason, a common purpose. You're connected in this way.

• EVERYTHING IS!

Get a fleeting sense of how you all are a part of a much, MUCH larger world and universe.

•  I am CLEAR...HERE and NOW

Take your attention and focus on specific details around you: read words on a poster, notice the buttons on a machine in front of you, notice a crack in the wall, pay attention to the electrical outlets and wires. Simply “notice” all sorts of small details around you. In this way you connect with your surroundings.

• I am PRESENT...in this place

Shift your attention to the larger room or place where you are working out.

• I am PRESENT...at this time and at no other

Notice how the space looks RIGHT NOW (as opposed to a few minutes ago).

• I think

Notice thoughts that occur to you.

• My five senses ARE!

Notice your breathing, how your body feels—sweat, heat, a breeze, fatigue, pain, sounds you hear, a taste that’s lingering, how your clothes tug against you as you move—and notice how these sensations are different than “thoughts.”

• I'm FINE doing this here and now...

Choose to accept being in that place, doing what you are doing, and feeling what you are feeling. Notice that you’re OK. You’re fine as you are right now. There’s no “rule” that you should be doing something else or feeling any differently, and you can accept this and “be here.” You’re fine as is. The past and the future all fall away; there is only right now, and it's fine by you.

• I'm FINE!

Reinforce it. Say it again. Get in touch with its truth.

Sometimes I touch my belly, which is a part of my body that I’m trying to reduce using exercise, and I add, “My belly is fine as it is right now…it’s fine.”

• I'm at PEACE doing this here and now...

Get in touch with this truth. Try to FEEL how true it is.

• I'm AT PEACE!

Reinforce it.

Sometimes late in the exercise I’ll remind myself, I’m at peace with sweating, I’m at peace with a flushed face, I’m at peace with my fatigue. It’s OK. I accept this. I can manage this. There’s no “rule” or “tablets from on high” that say it should be any other way.

• I belong here doing this now...

Get in touch with this truth. Try to FEEL how true it is.

• I BELONG!

Reinforce it.

• I'm at home doing this here and now...

Get in touch with this truth. Try to FEEL how true it is.

• I'm HOME! 

Reinforce it. You're exactly where you should be, doing exactly what you should be doing right now. (We'll deal with what you should be doing "later" at another time.)

• EVERYTHING is AS IT SHOULD BE right now...and I AM WILLING!

You are a part of everything, everything is a part of you, and you can accept everything as it is right in this moment. You can accept it, engage with it, participate in it, flow cooperatively with it, and make the most of it.

• I am...I am...I am...

Relax, adjust your pace so that it’s not too fast or too slow, not too hard or too easy, smile, and feel yourself peacefully participating in the exercise. Stay clear; don’t “space out.” Complete the challenging interval as best you can.

  
Remember to say it like you mean it. Put some emotion behind your thoughts, really get into it.

Then during the easier interval I usually try to keep my mind clear by reading posters, noticing details on machines, glancing very briefly at the TV, noticing new people who enter the exercise area, feeling a breeze from the fan, and so on. 

Try to limit how much you become engrossed in the program on the TV or let your mind wander as you listen to a song. Glimpse and notice the TV; notice and appreciate the song. Just don't let your mind immerse itself into a program or lose itself in the music. Stay present in the room, alternating between everything there is to see, hear, and feel. 

I remember one time, during the easy interval, I watched some TV, answered a "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" question, and then returned to mindfulness meditation once the difficult interval began again. Be present and mindful through as much of the exercise as possible, but don't worry if your mind wanders from time to time, or if you zero in on the TV program for a minute. Perfection is not the goal.

*     *     *

It's been a few months now that I've been doing mindfulness meditations and thought-chanting while I've been working out on the elliptical, and it's begun to pay off outside the gym. Mornings have always been a difficult time for me to "get out of my head" and be mindful and "in my body." My mind's been running around like a child all night long, and it has trouble settling down first thing in the morning.

Recently I noticed that I was "up in my head" during my morning bathroom routine, I thought to myself I AM, and I calmed down and gently focused very quickly; it felt almost like someone turning the "lens" of my camera and feeling everything come into sharper focus. I now use the phrases I AM and EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE as instant Chill Pills, relaxing me and helping me to focus on what I'm doing in the present moment. (It may take months of practice for you to see similar results, and your results may vary.)

Weight loss project: My engine wouldn't stop revving after a workout

I thought that I'd mention a workout related challenge I faced in case others have experienced it. This past winter I started a gym routine after years of dabbling and not really establishing it with any regularity. After a few months I noticed that I had become very speedy and irritable; my husband pointed this out to me. My thoughts and actions were much faster, and I was stressing out about my To Do list more than I had in years. It was if the workouts caused my internal, emotional engine to rev high and get stuck in over drive.

This felt so unfair! I was getting into better physical shape than I'd been in for years, yet my emotional life was taking a hit.

I noticed one pattern: I was more irritable after weight training than on days when I limited my exercise to aerobics. I thought that one culprit might be an uptick in that ole devil testosterone. However I'm 53, and I'm sure I'm not producing testosterone at the same rate as I did decades earlier. After I noticed, I made sure not to overdo it with the weight lifting (avoid lifting two days in a row, avoid lifting more than three days a week).

I also noticed that the Engine Revving feeling was very similar to how I felt in my youth. Back then my mind used to race, I was prone to worry, and my digestive system was frequently off, which was all very similar to what I was now experiencing; I used to be the kind of guy whose knee bounced rapidly and nervously whenever I was sitting down. Perhaps entering into an intense workout regime triggered me, and I reverted to how I was the last time I was very athletically active, which would be in my younger, less-wise days.

Finally, I experimented with a few things to get my internal engine back to its normal speed. For example, mainly as a way to settle myself before doing life & career coaching with clients, I'd think meditatively, slow...patience, compassion! This helped me to enter into more of a slower, listening mode. However my overall speediness continued during times when I wasn't working.

Eventually I stumbled upon a meditation that worked much better. When I'd think meditatively, I'm WILLING!, my whole body would relax, I'd instantly feel more peaceful, and my thinking and actions slowed down considerably. 

One of the ideas behind being willing as opposed to being willful is to avoid pushing; when I was worried and rushing, I was trying to push past what I was doing in the present moment and attempting to rush on to the next item on my agenda. My saying that I was willing was a powerful reminder to relax, to flow with the way things were right in that moment, to cooperate with the situation, and to focus on doing what would work best right then instead of worrying about what was coming next. For me, focusing on being willing was like taking a fast-acting Chill Pill. 

Finally I found that taking a time out slowed down my internal motor. I took a ten-day vacation in Florida, spending a lot of time floating in the pool and napping.

When I returned from vacation, I felt the Revving Engine on my first day back at work, but I haven't felt it since. Occasionally when I notice myself mentally and emotionally trying to push through and past a situation, I think, I'm willing, and I relax into the moment and calm right down.

Weight loss project: Getting the heart rate up

As part of documenting my Lose the Gut project, I thought I'd write briefly about the aerobic exercises that I'm doing.

First, I'm doing my workouts in a gym; I work long hours, the gym is attached to my office building, and the convenience makes me more likely to stick with the program. Because I had back surgery for a herniated disc, I've begun by using the elliptical machine for a minimum of 45 minutes (often an hour), and I'll do that three to four days a week. During very busy weeks, I've noticed that I still get good results if I do anything 30 minutes or longer, and I can almost always afford to spend a half hour on exercise (not including locker room time).

I also do core exercises from the book The AbSmart Fitness Plan by Adam Weiss. I've been very pleased with how these exercises feel do-able without straining my back. However I've been startled by how long it's taken me to be able to do the Intermediate level of three sets of five exercises. I'll chalk that up to being 53. I'm seeing results, so I will stick with this abs program even though it's taking me months to get it up and running.

To protect my back I won't do rowing. I've postponed any running on the treadmill until I'm stronger and in better shape. I will do 15 to 30 minutes on a stationary bike after I'm finished on the elliptical machine, but only in those rare instances when I have extra time. As for the elliptical machine, I'll alternate between one that has those ski-pole arms and one that does not (but allows you to alter the incline).

I find that intervals work very well for me; the elliptical machine that I use has an automatic interval setting, which runs for two minutes on a Difficult setting and  alternates with two minutes on an Easier/Rest setting. I recommend playing with the resistance and incline settings until the Difficult setting makes you breathe heavily by the end of that two minute cycle but does not exhaust you! Put another way, I recommend that the Difficult setting put your heart rate well into the Cardio range (not the lower Weight Loss range!).

I recommend pushing the pace during the Difficult setting, energy permitting; if the energy isn't there, especially late into the exercise, just complete the Difficult cycle without pushing it. Using this method, when I measure my heart rate, it always lands between 140 and 155 heart beats per minute at the completion of the Difficult interval. 

In addition to being humane about alternating between a challenging pace and a more restful pace, intervals help to address the problem of plateauing and getting the after-burn effect. By "mixing it up" and getting your heart rate into the Cardio range, you're likely to create an effect in which your shaken up metabolism will continue to burn some extra calories after you've finished the exercise. Obviously this is goodness.

If you're working with a personal trainer then I have no issue with you pushing harder under her or his supervision. However I work out alone. Also, after my workout and during the next day, I need to be clear headed for clients, and I struggle to do that if I push my workouts harder than I've described. I've been able to drop twelve pounds in four months using this method, and I'm happy with that slower pace, given the other positives that I get from it.

Finally, it's important to be aware that there are multiple ways to get your heart rate pumping. For example I worked with a client who struggled with foot and joint issues, so the elliptical machines and treadmills were difficult for her to use for long without feeling pain. Her personal trainer introduced a boxing workout that got her heart rate up with much less foot and leg movement, and she loved this exercise! Because you're more likely to stick with something you enjoy, it can be worth your while to experiment with different aerobic activities. Also, swimming is a great way to get your heart rate up without putting extra stress on your joints. The goal is to do any activity for 30 minutes or longer that gets your heart rate into the Cardio range for your age.

Here's a posting and chart that can help you to figure out the Cardio range for your age. I recommend starting out in the Beginning range and working your way into Intermediate within a month or two.

Scary stories we tell ourselves about growing old

As a life & career coach I help people to get unstuck so they can reach personal goals quicker and easier. While doing this work I've noticed that mortality issues often cause us to freeze, avoid, or freak out more intensely than other challenges. So anything involving sickness, starting a family, the death of a loved one, the death of a pet, aging parents, saving for retirement, and more, can trigger really intense feelings and stall progress toward related goals.

Addressing our mortality doesn't always have to be a heavy conversation. Sometimes it can be approached from a humorous angle.

For example, a female friend of mine has a theory about all women's worst fear. She thinks that women—deep down—are afraid they're headed toward one of two dreaded situations in their elder years:

• The homeless bag lady pushing the shopping cart down the street.
• The cat lady who needs an intervention to remove the animals from her home.

During conversations involving fear of getting older, I'll mention this to my female clients, and they'll look at me wide eyed as if saying How did you know that?! Then we'll have a good laugh about it.

Check this out:

I'm not quite sure what the male version of that growing-old fear would be, but at the age of 53 I know what's been on my mind lately. Every once in a while I'll observe one of my reactions to change or to the younger generation, and I fear that I'm becoming a Grumpy Old Man. You know, the one who opens his door and screams into the neighborhood, Arrrrrrr! What's WRONG with you kids today! Get off my lawn! Arrrrrr!!!

But that's not happening, right? I'm still cool, right?  ;-)

My personal-growth project: working out and losing weight

I haven't been writing as actively in this blog as I was last fall. In part, this is due to two personal projects that have eaten up considerable time and energy. One project is a book that I'm writing about how to break a bad habit and create a healthier one. The other is a "reduce my belly" project. 

I'd been meaning to describe my weight-loss efforts here, and I finally found the time to write the initial postings about it. 

It all began last winter when my husband gave me some new pants for the holidays. However, he FOOLISHLY chose to get pants with my actual waist size and not ones that featured a stretch waist. I mean, what was he thinking?! One pair was too uncomfortably tight to wear, and the other wouldn't button around me at all. 

I decided that there was no way in hell that I was going up a waist size, so instead I embarked on a project to reduce my belly. The short-term goal was to be able to fit into my new pants. The long-term goals were to maintain good health (I have high cholesterol), to have a stronger core and more athletic waist line, and, as a super low priority, to add as much muscle as is possible for a man nearing his mid-fifties. 

I'm using three main approaches in my efforts: gym workouts three-to-five times a week that emphasize at least 45 minutes of cardio on an elliptical machine (with some bike), using a modification of the nutrition techniques from Intuitive Eating, by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, and weaving mindfulness techniques into my cardio workouts. Mindfulness and Intuitive Eating are tools that I've used many times to help my life & career coaching clients, so I thought it would be interesting to document their use in this specific project. Because I had back surgery for a herniated disc back in 2007, I'm starting off with the elliptical and working my way slowly into treadmill and other running, paying attention to what my back will tolerate.

I'll blog in more detail later about each of these techniques, and I'll keep you posted on my progress, pitfalls, challenges, and more as I embark on this years-long project. 

As for my initial status report, it's been three-and-a-half months so far, I've lost 10 lbs, and I've completed my short-term goal: I now fit into both new pairs of pants that David bought me. However, as people who've succeeded at short-term weight loss know, anyone can lose some weight in a few months. The real key to success is making the gym workouts and the Intuitive Eating approaches new, long-term habits.

Stay tuned!

Welcome to my blog

As a Life & Career Coach, I help people to speed up the time between dreaming and doing. The biggest challenge in making this happen is understanding that there's something in between those two states. There are a number of things we can call it. Getting out of our own way. Overcoming negativity and struggling to stay positive. Floundering in lack of confidence and motivation.

In between having dreams and making them come true, you eventually have to do something today, in the present moment. It will help if what you are doing is effective, actually working well and helping you to succeed. However, it all starts with moving beyond doing nothing and finding a way to do something, as soon as possible, consistently.

To help my clients to take those initial steps into action, I like to tell a story from the movie, Bull Durham. Crash Davis is a professional baseball player on the AAA level, just below the major leagues. Annie Savoy is a Super Fan of the Durham Bulls, providing good company and timely wisdom for a number of the players and coaches.

Davis is in a battling slump, and he and Annie are at the cages. He's trying to practice his swing, attempting to work his way out of his struggles in the batter's box. Annie takes his place at the plate, and she imparts this bit of sage advice: "Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate." I don't think I've heard a better, more direct set of instructions about how someone can get into "the zone" and perform well.

So, that's what my blog is all about: how do we relax and concentrate on any given day, enough so that we can work our way out of slumps, avoid negativity, keep a focus on our own well being, and have more fun, even when we're technically working. Like any decent Life & Career Coach, I help you to set goals, prioritize them, break them into smaller steps, and encourage you along the way. However, my specialty is helping you to develop the habits that keep you clear and present on a daily basis, so that regular life doesn't distract or discourage you from making your dreams come true.

I hope you find this blog useful and that you enjoy it. 

About Gerry

I'm a Life & Career Coach living and working in Baltimore, Maryland. I am a Master of Clinical Social Work (MSW), and I have 18+ years of counseling and coaching experience. In additional to emotion management and mindfulness, I specialize in assisting with career transitions, having moved from being a software technical writer into being a Life & Career Coach. I established my private coaching practice in 2002. Finally, I make my home with my husband, David Kimble, and our two Basenji dogs, Q and Coal. And I work hard to practice everything that I preach.

Here are some links if you'd like to learn more about me.

• My coaching website
• My previous blog: Relaxing into Happiness
• Like me on Facebook 
• Follow me on Twitter